At the winter meetings this month, two veteran and highly respected National League scouts shared a theory they had just discussed over dinner. The subject was trades.

A good trade, one top National League manager told them, was painful for both teams.

I can envision it now. The general manager from Team X goes up to the podium and breaks down crying as he announces he has just traded super stud outfielder to Team Y.

The general manager from Team Y follows him up to the podium and cannot even speak for a few seconds. He is overcome with emotion. Tears roll down his cheeks as he finally announces he has sent his super stud third baseman to Team X.

So, tough guy, you want to play Mr. General Manager? You want to walk in Tim Purpura's shoes? Who are you going to give up for Miguel Tejada?

The first person who says "Mike Gallo" will be forced to sit at the kids' table this Christmas with the rest of the sports talk radio callers who say: "Why don't we send Eric Bruntlett to the Oakland A's for Barry Zito?"

You want Zito? You can have him. Just be prepared to give up two of your top relievers and probably another major league-ready position player. That's the pain I'm talking about.

Oh, yeah, and there's a strong chance Zito will leave town after a year via free agency.

Do we have to bring up Carlos Beltran again to those of you sleeping in class? Do we have to tell you kids about 1998, the year the Astros gave up three premier prospects to the Seattle Mariners so Randy Johnson could lead them to the World Series?

Every loyal Astros fan knows Beltran and Johnson were amazing in Astros uniforms. But they didn't lead Houston to the World Series.

To Tejada, or not to Tejada

Some Astros fans are eager to get Tejada, the Baltimore Orioles' premier shortstop. Some fans say they'd gladly give up starting shortstop Adam Everett and All-Star closer Brad Lidge for Tejada.

I wouldn't be surprised if Purpura pulled off this deal, but I'd likely be too much of a wimp to pull it off myself. That one would hurt me too much.

Fortunately for me, I only play a general manager in the newspaper.

Luckily for you, Lidge returned a month-old telephone message to me late Thursday night. He interrupted my enchilada dinner. Talk about a trade that hurt.

Lidge understands

Whatever the case, I got down to business with Lidge right away. I lured him into a false sense of friendship by wishing him a happy birthday. He'll be 29 today. I'm happy to report Lidge's wife, Lindsay, is doing well. Their 1-year-old daughter Avery Grace is getting cuter and more active each day. Their black lab, Nutmeg, also is having a blast.

The Lidges recently returned from a trip to England and Scotland, where he's proud to report not one person asked him about those home runs by Albert Pujols and Scott Podsednik.

After a few minutes, I said, "Would you send Brad Lidge and Everett to the Orioles for Tejada?"

One of his good friends had asked that a few days earlier.

"That's a good question," the always-charming Lidge said. "It's one that I actually had to answer. Obviously (Tejada) comes with a hefty price tag. The guy's going to give you a ton of offense. Adam and I are good players too. If you feel that somebody can come in and fill the vacancy in the bullpen then that seems like that might work. I know we need offense.

"Shoot, he's an MVP-type player. I wouldn't put myself in that position. I'm prejudice to myself.

"That being said, I think Dan Wheeler and Chad Qualls are incredible relievers. Who knows? I don't think you can do better than Adam Everett for defense, so you know you'd do the trade for offense. (Tejada is) good on offense, but he's not as good defensively or better than Adam Everett."

An hour or two before that conversation, the real Purpura also returned a phone message. He and his top scouts called every team in the majors to inquire about trade possibilities this week. As of Thursday evening, all but five teams had called the Astros back.

"There's hitting available," Purpura said. "It may not be who you want. A team could probably get a big slugger from Boston."

That slugger would be Manny Ramirez, and he'll cost you an average of about $20 million for each of the next three seasons. For that price, he's also moody and prone to trade demands.

"Could we have made trades by now?" Purpura said. "Sure, we could. I'm not certain they'd help us long term."

Is it worth it?

Six years ago today, the Astros traded Mike Hampton and Derek Bell for Octavio Dotel, Roger Cedeño and a prospect. Hampton and Bell led the Mets to the World Series. Dotel eventually helped the Astros land Beltran in a three-team trade in which the Astros sent Dotel to Oakland and catching prospect John Buck to Kansas City in June 2004.

That trade didn't hurt the Astros too much. The next one might.

In the meantime, it's important to remember many fans wanted the Astros to trade Chris Burke for a proven major-leaguer last winter and throughout this season.

Burke's home run pushed the Astros to the National League Championship Series.

It's a good thing Purpura didn't listen.